Breaking News: Shattergrounds Gossip Day 8
Helloooo Ladies, Gentlemen, Everything in Between and Everything Undefined! It’s your host with the MOST, “Supagreen Modul” Rohd Bozza coming to you from Studio C Bakunin,where anything goes from heads to toes! Welcome my luvvies to Panorama, your main line feed for news and juicy gossip from throughout the Human Sphere.
Tonight my spies and little eyes are focused on all the sensations and scandals we’ve been hearing about from Concilium Prima and oh baby, you are never gonna believe who and what’s been going down in the most exciting spot to be in the Human Sphere!
Heartbreaker and Lifetaker? There’s something about Nourkias.
With the recent thawing of relations between humanity and the Combined Army a number of other “relations” appear to have come to light. Rumor has it that several of the leading ladies of the Human Sphere have exchanged more than friendly fire with one Kai’l Rank Umbra Nourkias, a VERY tall, VERY dark and apparently VERY handsome leading figure in the alien forces.
Our source, notorious Rogue Interventor WiseKensai, says that this Combined Cassanova has seduced his way from Paradiso to Concillium leaving a trail of broken hearts and broken bodies in his wake. His current paramour is rumored to be leading O-12 Socialite and O-12 HIgh Commissioner Lady Numiria who is apparently head over heels in love with this Lethal Lothario. What this means for ongoing evacuation efforts on Concilium Prima is anyone’s guess but perhaps “Sleeping with the enemy” has taken on a whole new meaning?
We reached out to Lady Numira however she was unavailable for comment, her rather exasperated “secretary” instead gave us this prepared statement:
“Nourkias is a very kind Umbra and under that cold exterior beats the heart, or hearts maybe, of a kind sensitive soul who just loves to get up close and personal with people. We shouldn’t let simple things like radically different physiology get in the way of true love! You can read all about it in my new book “ Betrayal: How the Sphere is Scared Of Change” available from all good Maya feeds and Ariadnian bookstores, whatever those are…”
Lady Numiria: O-12 HIgh Commissioner
Don’t listen out for any wedding bells yet though, our source was keen to pour cold water on this budding romance by pointing out that Lady Numira is just the latest in a long string of apparent lovers this darkest of horses appears to have lead on. What’s more his choice of partner appears to follow an unsettling trend, WiseKensai has prepared this helpful infographic for our viewers.
As you can see our Deadly Mr Darcy appears to have certain requirements for his companions and who knows how long it will be until his crimson gaze begins to wander?
We considered reaching out to Umbra Nourkias for his side of the story however none of our reporters were willing to risk an interview on the grounds that our company Cube insurance policies wouldn’t cover it!
We’’ll bring you the latest on this raucous romance as it develops.
Fusilier Angus to Release Charity Single.
Noted PanOceanian personality and former guest judge on “Dancing with the Aristeia Stars!” Fusilier Angus, is set to release a Charity Single “Sad Castles In The Sand” the proceeds of which will go towards hosting next years annual Montalbán Sandcastle Building Competition.
This years competition ended prematurely due to “tectonic disturbances”, which this host hears were actually orchestrated by notorious Nomad pranksters “Pi-Man & Billie Jean” for their popular Arachne Comcast “Rempractical J0k3rz”.
Fusilier Angus is no stranger to the music world having previously released a self produced Studio Album “My Scars Are My Strings” to moderate success. It included several top 100 hit singles including “I Left My Heart, And Part Of My Spleen, On Paradiso”, “Lady in Red, I’m Bleeding Out On You” and the heart wrenching “You Were More Than A Monkey To Me” rumored to be about a former captor met during a train rescue.
While failing to set the Maya charts on fire Angus’s songs remain popular in Merovingia for reasons this host can’t fathom.
It is hoped that funds generated from sales of the single will go towards improvements in sand quality and sand stabilizing adhesives.
That’s all I have for you now my darlings, check in again soon for all the hottest gossip from the Human Sphere XXX
[…] off her knees as she stared down at the shattered ALEPH DevaBot at her feet. The gentle chorus of “Sad Castles in the Sand” was barely audible from the one of the Montalban resorts over the nearest sand dune. She shook her […]
High effort High results. Love this
beautiful thing
Memes for the people!
I have to say, the meme game is real strong. And it is actually amazing.
Lady Numiria leading the front on scandals I see.
Listening to Sad Castles in the Sand on repeat. What a masterpiece!
We’ve build a solid walls of love
Beautiful and grand
Little did we know my heart
They were made of sand…
Oh-oh-oh
SAD CASTLES IN THE SAND
Beautiful and grand
Till the ocean lash they last
SAD CASTLES IN THE SAND
That single truly touches one’s soul!
Lady Numia getting creampied by Nurikas is a good way to distract people away from Pan O’s crimes… maybe CA and them are working together after all?
El amor jjjjjjj
El amor el amor jjjjjjj
This is a big media conspiracy to blind the people of the sphere! Where is the coverage of PanOciana’s violent oppression of the United Anglers and Wharfers strike? Conditions in Okolnir are oppressive and the Ariadnan workers demand to have a seat at the table. When will we get coverage of the events that matter?
Our People! Our Okolnir!
Oh man, this is the best one yet!
So good.
Perfection.
Finally, some high quality coverage on the TRULY important topics.
Thanks Panorama and thanks to everyone in Bakunin studio C <3
Hilarious. This is the type of news you need while on edge of death and the planet collapsing, so you can relax for a few minutes 🙂
(*≧▽≦)
“We shouldn’t let simple things like radically different physiology get in the way of true love!”
Lady Numiria, do not be ashamed, admit that -if anything- that “radically different physiology” is a bonus! Speaking of which, I know a place in Bakunin you could be interested in…
In NeoTerra we really dig the music of Angus.
Outside that, I won’t comment any further about my personal life and Nourkias. My agent said you need to just buy the book if you want to read more about it!
Lady Numiria
O-12 High Commissionner for the Edda Defense Front Commission
It’s awesome to see all of this come ti Life from the forums to here
Lol
I doubt Nourkias can compete with the raw sex appeal of CSU Larry. Consider this a challenge.
Interesting… This is nine reporting. Interesting to hear of Nourkias’… personal life? I wonder if this is a psy-op, but… such seems unlikely. Curious. Will consider it in analysis of the human sphere.
Alfa as fork!
Nourkias, my sweet son, is quite the eligible bachelor.
Wow, I didn’t know Angus could sing. And that fellow, Nourkia, is a player? Who could have predicted it!
“My scars are my strings”?? ?? I HAVE that album!!. NICE!
Always remember – love to someone is unacceptable. Make war, not love!